i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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