What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
