Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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