There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
