How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
