If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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