I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
