I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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