Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize