I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
