Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
