you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
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Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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