I want to stick my p in your. b.
she was so not down for the gang bang
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
