To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize