Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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