You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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