Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm always down for nudity.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
