im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
