i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize