You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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