well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
