All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
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at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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