walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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