Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
