sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
