She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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