Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
