I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
