I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
