Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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