I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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