i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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