That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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