you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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