Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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