he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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