HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Apparently you make a good broom.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
