every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize