Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
