We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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