there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?