He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS