Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Farmville is her only friend.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
