I bet he comes in French.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
