So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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