Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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