PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize