Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
