Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
