Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
