using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize