Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
