yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize