a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
