hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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