WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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