Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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