By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
