Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
